


Dammit Hela, stop pawning off your brother

by princesszavi1



Series: Thorki one shots [3]
Category: Marvel, Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Good Laufey (Marvel), Humor, Multi, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Pre-Loki/Thor, brother sister shenanigans, muspe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21573841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesszavi1/pseuds/princesszavi1
Summary: How Hela played cupid for Thor and Loki. How did Thor come to play house with Laufey. How once again the Norns favored Laufey, How king Surtur was denied a tiny royal servant.
Relationships: Farbauti/Laufey (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Loki/Thor (Marvel)
Series: Thorki one shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1389691
Kudos: 43





	Dammit Hela, stop pawning off your brother

“Thor, Thor , Thor.... THOR ODINSON, comeout this instant or you will be very sorry young man.”  
The servants and courtiers give a wide berth when they see Queen Frigga stalking through the corridors in search of her wayward son. They soon go on their ways for it is a quite regular occurance for the queen to be out about searching for her son when it is time for his lessons.  
Frigga was tired. She truly was between a war monger of a husband, adventurous (bordering on insanity) daughter and truly frustrating son who can't for life of him sit still for a second; tired is an understatement. She is truly done with this shit but as queen she can't drop everything and leave to her home realm to let these vain, selfish and frankly stupid Asgardians do as they please. But No, she should behave with grace and decorum befitting of a queen and sort out all the mess to make life easy for her asgardian family. And so she went on searching every nook and cranny for her youngest in hopes of getting through another day of her life. Even after hours of searching when she couldn't locate her son she did what she should have done hours ago;she went to visit Heimdall at the Bifrost.  
As always her fellow vanir was sympathetic to her plight but today he evaded her gaze and looked uncomfortable. However as she approached him he gave her a slight bow and stood in attention but his eyes conveyed that he wanted to be anywhere but in her presence and this made Frigga uneasy. Best to get it over with and thus she addressed him, “ Dear friend Heimdall, have you seen Thor?”  
Upon hearing her Heimdall went so still she feared he might turn into a statue right in front of her.  
“ Have you inquired crown princess Hela the whereabouts of the young prince my Queen?” returned Heimdall.  
Frigga felt unease settle deep in her gut for she knew nothing good can come when Thor and Hela were together. It usually involved either destruction of their surroundings when they caused mischief together or Thor sulking and having a fit when Hela had no time to spare for him. Thor despite being only 600 had all the arrogance of an full fledged Aseir prince and a 1600 year old Hela barely an adult is the last one to put up with his arrogant ways. Based on the recent events of Thor's worsening behavior for past few weeks she better get going before Hela does something permanently irreparable. As such Frigga felt Heimdall presence in a hurry with no word.

Hela, the crown princess of Asgard was lying face down in her cermonial robes in her bed trying to smother herself with a pillow. She regretted drinking the last 7 mugs of ice wine yesterday. She was contemplating between going back to sleep or summoning a healer to take care of her headache when she heard her doors opening with a thud which brought another sharp jab of pain. Before she could contemplate on whether to skewer the offender or throw him off the watch tower, she found her pillow yanked from her hands and was face to face with her mother who managed to look worried and angry seeing her daughter hungover.  
Hela immediately knew where this was going and she sat up straight and moved to the edge of her bed facing towards the balcony in case of hasty exit.

Frigga saw her daughter looking at the balcony door and knew that things have become 3 times more complicated.She thought for a moment if she should even get involved. But her motherly side won and she rounded on Hela subtly placing herself between Hela and the door and with infinite patience asked her,  
“ Hela, what have you done with your brother Thor?”  
Hela's immediate reaction was to deny and shout “ Why are you blaming Me! For all we know he is somewhere playing hooky and being the fool that he is.”  
“Hela, Heimdall informed me all about it, now I want to hear your side of story” Frigga said crossing her arms looking thoroughly unimpressed and disappointed of her child's doings.  
Hela felt herself cowed for she can never face her mother's disapproval and mumbled.  
“Thor is..is ..jotu...im.”  
Frigga had to restrain herself from sighing. She sat beside Hela making herself comfortable for it will take a long time for her to extract truth from Hela and repeated her question while maintaining the illusion of her having the upper hand. Oh the trails mothers face when it comes to their children.

“Hela darling speak up.” she chided.  
“He is in Jotunheim.”  
Frigga now felt alarmed; her mind going through the scenario of her baby alone in wilderness of Jotunheim, lost and crying for his mother but before she could bolt to bifrost to open passage to jotunheim ; Hela interrupted her “ Thor is staying in Utgard palace with cousin Laufey and his consort Farbauti.”  
Frigga relaxes minutely at her reply and she steels herself for more questioning.  
“Hela child, what did you do? Do you think Asgard coffers can can stand to pay the were gild?”  
Hela bristles immediately and tries to loom over her mother but the effect is greatly minimized by her mothers no nonsense look.  
“Truly mother that was one time and Thor was equally to blame for the dragon fiasco with the dwarves and I paid them back from my own coffers.”  
“I stand by my word Hela and before we get off topic What did you do with your brother?”  
Hela blinks and her face becomes the picture of innocence combined with sheepishness.  
“ you see mother, It was all a silly game and What is more important is I saved Thor from greater hardship and moreover he is in Jotunheim as a practice baby and not a lowly child labor in Muspelheim being tormented by Surtur and other fire giants.”  
Frigga feels her irritation growing, she squares her shoulders, power crackingly around her filling the room; looking her eldest in the eye and using very ounce of motherly wrath “ start from the beginning daughter mine, and don't leave out anything.”  
Hela feels herself shrinking, she knows her mother is few moments away from snapping and its time to finally come clean, she steels herself;  
“Mother, my queen, in the context of ancient custom of maintaining cordiality and camaraderie between the realms, I have taken it upon myself to partake in sacred quest of keeping my fellow future rulers of Jotunheim and Muspelheim company and indulging in good spirits and harmless games when King Surtur proposed a wager among him, myself and cousin Laufey. King Sutur made a wager for his sword,the temptation was so great that we not only get to lay our sight on the sword but own it . As incousin Laufey bet his throne and I bet Thor. ”  
“Mother you must understand the bet was most sensible for this was the chance to posses Surtur's sword and Jotunheim throne in one strike and even if I lose the loss wasn't so great.”  
“Why do they want Thor for he is but a child and hellion at that?” Frigga blurts out before she can properly process her thoughts.  
“ah you see mother, there lies the real genius of your daughter not only did I arrange get rid of that little pest for the benefit and well being of Asgard of course but also conquer another realm and obtain greatest weapon ever made in one single swoop and be hailed as mighty Hela. ....”  
“Daughter, darling get to the point”  
“ Right my queen, as you know the Fire gaints are always in the market for tiny but sturdy young boys to tend to their ice boxes and cleaning small nooks and carnies so I convinced King Sutur what is more better than having Asgard royalty and only prince as his lackey. Cousin Laufey and his consort are expected to produce heir right after his coronation and King-uncle Mimir wants them to have an ice maiden to be his apprentice and so they wish for a tiny practice baby.”  
Frigga makes a note to put together a baby basket asgardian size with a few old outfits of Thor and Hela while paying half a mind to Hela for she knew that in the ring or games of luck or chance betting against Laufey will result in quick and horrible defeat.  
“And what happened darling?” prompted Frigga half smiling.  
“ Oh curse the Norns,cousin Laufey and lastly myself for not realizing in matters of luck there is no beating that wretched Laufey and so he went home with Thor and Surtur's sword.” wailed Hela falling on her bed dramatically and continuing on cursing her luck and the Norns, Laufey and mead....  
Frigga gets up gathering her skirts and makes to leave the room.  
Hela breathes a sigh of relief for having gone unpunished when she sees her mother make it to the door smothering a sudden happy laugh in her pillow when  
“Hela my child, no magic until your father negotiates your brother's return and consider yourself cleaning the stables for the rest of your life.”  
Hela curses herself for her stupidity out loud while Figga makes her way back to her chambers thinking of all the tea parties, balls, dinners she can get done with Thor gone.

Meanwhile in Utgard palace Thor wakes up slowly slipping his hands outside his blanket only to be met with resistance, he opens his eyes to find high icy blue ceilings higher than that of his home. HE makes a noise and draws a deep breath " DAmmmN YYOOUUU HHEELLLLLLAAAAAAA, ThiSS is NOT FuNNy . I am TELLLing MOMMM."

........the end......


End file.
